La Sarcelle

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Cold as hell here.  And I do not have the sense to put on socks.

I want to answer a character questionnaire.  I feel this will use up words and also draw us closer together in this conspiracy of confidence.  This is the failure of the format, though, that if I begin this today, I would have to fill out the whole thing otherwise tomorrow will be entirely detached from today.  I will waste precious words explaining the situation or, more likely, I will just bore myself out of my mind with blase answers and give up the ghost tomorrow.

Instead, I think, I will just run on about my day and contemplate how things might improve were I to improve them.

Therapy entitled me to a little bit of extra sleep in the morning, but instead, I used that time to watch Miss Phryne Fisher’s Murder Mysteries and nearly miss my appointment.  I did get the car scraped and myself in the office with zero time left.  It was not my intention, but it never is.  I just find the pull of my fantasies narcotic and amniotic and when it comes time to be sensible, I sometimes find myself out of sense and I regret it later.  Suffice it to say, I ought to have gotten up instead of clutching at how pleasant and lovely it was, but it was pleasant and lovely and I don’t regret that bit.

Therapy was good.  I’m half of a mind to share the address for my blog with my therapist, but I’m not entirely sure what I want out of that and I want to know what I anticipate being the result of such a decision before making it.  We talked about my vision statement – and I am going to send that to her.  The vision sort of post that I did about a month ago and like the feeling behind.  I wish that I was the kind of person who didn’t need the reminders I need, but I need them.  I need someone to tell me that I don’t have to put my face against the burner to to alert everyone that it’s hot.   I don’t have to stand here with my head in the pillory so that everyone knows I’m serious.  I don’t have to rush and hide my own imperfections from the world.  That’s the sort of stuff I need told to me and if I’m not going to get it whilst being held by some bearded fellow in a Christmas jumper, I will take it on the couch from someone who seems to have enough energy to prop my cake up when it starts to melt into itself.

So, yes.  Pondering that.  Joined a facebook group for MST3K kickstarter backers which is making me feel cheery and forgetful of the hour and a half I worked tonight beyond the extra hour I aimed to make up for being at home watching Australian dramas and dreaming of being a Lady Detective.

Other things, surely. I drove home.  I’m going to take a bath.  I’m outside the box.

 

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