Crow Eating a Persimmon

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Writing related to my therapy discussion today:

I am at my best when I can work on my own, but get regular feedback from others..
I will try to prevent times when I feel I can’t use my creativity to find solutions..
I will enjoy my work by finding employment where I can complete short assignments that help others get things done.
I will find enjoyment in my personal life through pushing my creative boundaries and expectations.
I will find opportunities to use my natural talents and gifts such as writing, acting with empathy, being a friend, thinking creatively, being self-directed, being even-keeled.
I can do anything I set my mind to. I will complete my novel and write like mad for publication and myself everyday.
My life’s journey is.about integrating the parts and pieces of myself, overcoming fear and anxiety and taking hold of my worthiness. Once I do this, I benefit, the people I choose to have relationships with benefit, everything becomes gilded with joy because I won’t be closed off to the world anymore.
I will be a person who at 80, is  surrounded by people I love, my husband and a kid or two and their kids and then lots of different friends from all walks of life. I would like them to say that I loved each of them so much that they felt safe and inspired to do their own great things, make their own lives remarkable..
My most important future contribution to others will be that I will have broken down the barriers I have built around me and within me so that I don’t have to peer over them and call that connection. To have fought for a true self that will feed my work, relationships, and experiences so that I can express myself fully and don’t live in fear.

I will stop procrastinating and start working on how:

  • I often allow fear or thoughts of imperfection to keep me from completing promised tasks for myself or others. Work sits undone, waiting for a better, smarter person to do it.
  • I do things well enough to get by, but I let my drive for excellence get swallowed up by insecurities.
  • I reason my way out of eating better, being socially vulnerable, or taking important risks and I reason my way out of being upset about that when I know they are steps I need to take to have the life I want.

I will strive to incorporate the following attributes into my life:

  • empathy
  • intelligence
  • creativity

I will constantly renew myself by focusing on the four dimensions of my life:

  • Have exercise be a ritual, let it bring regular comfort and renewal to my body rather than a reminder of imperfect health.
  • Let the Faithful Light speak. Meditate and let her come forth fully and as loudly and as often as she likes.
  • Read and write. Trade other ways to spend time for creative pursuits. Fail at more things. Confront my fears at as many opportunities as I can. Reinforce my values and goals daily. Demand projects are completed before new ones begin.
  • Put myself in the position to meet people and not yoke that goal with the goal of falling in love and having a family. Let myself be available to imperfect partners. Recognize there is no shame in wanting physical intimacy and emotional support in this life.

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