14798 ->  15298

Well, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do this all on the story tonight.  Time factors rather than interest factors.  I haven’t even watched an episode of Game of Thrones and I am not sure I’ll end up having time to do it.  So I don’t want you to miss out on a day of my hilarious antics.

Work is starting to amp up on the stress levels.  I don’t know what to do about it, so I’m just focusing on not letting it suck me under. Can’t do that again.  Just can’t.  Focus on the things that make a girl happy, even if they happy to be shitty food (doesn’t really make me happy, it just makes me more comfortably numb).  Gotta get that together and let go of some really stupid and unhelpful watermarks to consider restarting.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I’m not rolling my eyes, I’m just tired.  You know?

It gets rough sometimes out here on the frontier, only our sod house and our steel will to make it as the Santa Ana winds drive us to drink and to darker despairs.  Some days we’re not coded right.  Some days we fake an illness because we can’t stand to be well alone. Well enough alone is the worst, best fate you end up when you let the dial spin, let the pointer flick each prong until it, too, tires of purpose and plan and stops and bankrupts you.

When you know there’s a thing that will help: eating some vegetables, cutting up your pills and mixing them into your porridge, listening to the hypnotist, practicing behind the wheel, drinking a cup of water, walking outside in the free air and you WON’T do it.  Will not.  No one is asking you to better yourself but you and you won’t do it.  Damn, that’s frustrating.  Like there was a secret negotiation you weren’t invited to.  And those things were ex-ed out of the contract.   Nope, we won’t comply with requests of your level unless we have an administrative-level override and you’re going to have to contact your manager and get majority board approval and wouldn’t you prefer to to watch another episode of Antiques Roadshow and spend another hour of your life wrapped in swaddling clothes, safe from the bother of moving?

This only becomes a saleable story if the girl gets up, falls in love, gets laid, learns important lesson about self-esteem and saves an animal/small child who has fallen into a well.  You have to draw yourself up, get yourself going, have 50-100 pounds gone, swim a channel.  Just saying get by, survive, be okay, nevertheless 1900 times isn’t enough to get anyone to look twice.

Nobody looks twice these days.

I forget where we were.

I’m looking at the Griffin and Sabine kickstarter for their app.  I’m hoping they make it.   I love them too much to see them fail, but I can’t do much more than jump up and down and say go fund them!


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