Yesterday, I realized after posting, I made my 1900th post on this site. Regardless of quality or necessity, that’s…a lot of writing. I am quite proud of that.
I did sleep through the night last night, but I woke up with equally boiled grapes for eyes, a quite cooked-through forehead and a throat that feels as though I’ve run acid down it. I can’t help but wonder now, though, if it’s some sort of allergy or reaction to something I’m breathing in while I sleep because I’m at work, sitting upright, with some coffee, and I don’t feel as bad as that, anyway. I feel halfway functional.
Doctor, you say?
Hah. Hah. It’s too laughable even to apply to the word count.
Last night went better than I anticipated (I think that should be the new tagline for this blog: wirrah, wirrah, things are okay.) Mostly because I didn’t try and fix the universe, or hug everyone, or assume that everyone was there to swarm around me. Some did, and that was okay, I definitely felt myself falling into that old patter with people. I even made sure to talk to the old boss and went back to my old office. They’ve moved a few things, but it still looks overwhelming. They were also talking about another event and I, for the first time, I think, really got the idea that I don’t have those burdens anymore. Others, sure, but not those. I don’t have to stand and listen, it’s not my job. I can listen, at my leisure, and then go away. So I didn’t linger excessively. There are probably people who attended who I knew for years and years and I didn’t say hello to them, but I saw my old co-workers and I’m sure I’ll get another dose of the drama at a secondary party happening
I do miss the way it brought out some social facility in me; I feel like it’s yet another muscle that goes to waste if you don’t use it.
As part of that, we went to dinner with my mentor and friend and her husband and it was just nice. It was just comfortable to be a human and not having to focus on a task, though we briefly discussed the festival and all that needed to be done. We both aren’t going to be the ones to do this anymore, though. Or hang onto the past as some of the old comrades seem to be. They are truly compassionate, generous, caring people. I completely forgot about the Jaws of Haakon and wanting to hurry home to play a game.
I am also grateful to the sister for insisting that I go get my license renewed. That was a whole other mountain made a molehill simply by doing it and now I’ve got the thing coming my way and it won’t be a barrier in the way of me practicing driving.
What else might I be grateful for doing now, rather than later?