An Elf

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Wednesday! The great and glorious hump day.  I’ve had my coffee and I’ve been fully occupied for the last two hours and expect to be quite diverted by work the rest of the day – this is good news! I also have a new cowl neck shirt and pants I don’t mind and life feels…if not brand new, then, refurbished and working and happening. Life, my friends, just in case you heard otherwise, is happening.

Of course, my phone might be broken, I have to sort something out with the bank because they didn’t handle something I thought was handled, I am still confused about a few things I don’t want to be confused on, but, on the whole, it’s good today.  It’s moving swiftly.  I don’t know, I feel like I want to wash pots and pans.  I’m feeling that weird scullery maid mood come upon me and I have to find some way to bottle and save it because there’s not a lot of call for a scullery maid in clerical work.
It may come and go, but it’s important to remember that side exists in me.  Way deep down below all this frippery and procrastination.  Astrid.
…..
Avoiding failure does mean you have to make up some failure to avoid.  There has to some risk to mitigate.
I am going to cook some potstickers and think about myself for a bit, you know, just for something fresh and new.  My sister did have a comment yesterday when I was talking to her about how I wasn’t sure how this blog was going.  She mentioned I just don’t have the same angst as I used to, I don’t need to vent in the same way, and that’s true, though we did talk about how this isn’t really a good venue for all of my stresses I have with her so it’s not really working in either direction.  At the same time, she doesn’t think I should stop.  I don’t think I should stop, I just…
It’s not like I don’t have some major things in my life that could use work and documentation of that work.  Driving – I mean, I have to force that.  If things had been different today, it could have been absolute hell to do something at work that needed doing – checking out a venue for an event.  It’s so bizarre that I feel fine talking with people, handling the questions regarding it, and yet the idea of driving there, just 15 minutes away (albeit downtown in a big city) gave me the shakes.  But I have to do the things that give me the shakes.
Speaking of the shakes, Atkins? Do I have a date with you, dear Doctor?  I feel like I must, but is it only out of habit?  I feel sad and hopeless about my diet prospects even as I know that how I feel about it largely constitutes the result I will get.   Certain restrictions about the diet sound good, but my mind is just full of junk and junky desires right now.
Makes you wish you were an elf and above these things.

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